Was it love or just wind?

It’s an interesting thing to have on your CV. If I lie on my stomach in the muck, my arms are just long enough to reach into the icy ‘water’ and pass a rope under the chest of a black limi heifer who has managed to get herself into a slurry pit.
It’s one of these jobs you do methodically. First a cow-band round her neck, fasten it to the chainlink fence, now she’s less likely to drown. Cattle float and can swim, but if they get tired, eventually their heads sink and they drown.
Next get the rope. Strip to the waist, all the while thanking the Lord that it wasn’t a fortnight ago, and lie down in wind-dried muck.
Then quietly, because you don’t want to upset her, slide your hand down one side of her shoulders, push the end of the rope under her and grab it with your other hand.
Fasten rope, attach rope to fore-end loader, lift, pull back and deposit one wet and exhausted heifer on dry land.
With heifer washed off with warm water, stomach tubed with electrolytes and wrapped in straw out of the wind, you finally get a chance to work out how she did it. If she’d broken through there, across that bit, and got a decent run up, she might just have been able to clear that which would have meant she’d have come down there and from there it’s straight through the crust and into the drink.
When you get to the stage of structural modifications you begin to ask questions like, ‘What on earth possessed her to do it?’ Last night was a howling gale, perhaps something spooked her? Either that or looking at her age perhaps it’s her first time abulling?
Well she won’t be the first lass to end up in deeper waters than she expected on a first date.
Anyhow it wasn’t how I’d intended to start my morning, but as they say, ‘If you want to hear God laugh, tell him what you plan to do tomorrow.’

3 thoughts on “Was it love or just wind?

  1. willmacmillanjones April 18, 2013 at 12:39 pm Reply

    It’s avaried life you lead, Jim. Like the Chinese curse, may you live in interesting times.

    • jwebster2 April 18, 2013 at 12:42 pm Reply

      What I like my life is the fact that when I get up in the morning I often don’t know what I’ll be doing that day. After I’d had a shower and thrown stuff in the washing machine I checked and discovered than in another couple of hours I’ve got to be expert enough on something to do with the Ectoparasites of Livestock to produce an article on the topic!
      Neither the rescue nor the article were planned for today 😉

  2. MTM April 18, 2013 at 3:56 pm Reply

    ‘If you want to hear God laugh, tell him what you plan to do tomorrow.’

    I give you my famous last words, ‘I will never marry a lawyer.’ Guess what my husband does?



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