Smarter than the average sheep. (And also quite bright for a Londoner as well)

Sheep aren’t the most stupid of God’s creatures; they’re not even the most stupid mammal. Indeed Horses could well have been created to allow sheep to feel the smug glow of intellectual superiority that everyone needs from time to time.
Not that this is high praise, there’s single celled creatures floating in seas of freezing ammonia, illuminated by the dying suns of decayed nebulae who have more idea what is going on that your average horse. But who needs intelligence when you’ve got charisma and a good body? It’s worked for horses and it’ll doubtless work for others.
But I digress. Our next door neighbour had an issue with sheep. She’s a retired lady and a Londoner by birth, but much to her joy has found herself living surrounded by sheep and lambs. Oh and remember, when I say next door, she is the nearest house in that direction, but it’s a five minute walk, so we don’t see her every week. But anyroad up, she was heading for bed the other night when she thought, ‘That sheep sounds a little close.’
So she stepped out into her middle garden, and there, dancing along the top of the wall was a young lamb. This isn’t too improbable as her garden is well below field level and the wall top isn’t much higher than the field. Anyway, this was (briefly) cute, until the lamb fell off the wall and landed in the garden. At this point her quiet evening erupted into chaos as the lamb frantically tried to get back up the wall to join mother and mother tried to come down the wall to rejoin lamb.
Now at this point I can tell you, with all the confidence of a professional, that the thing to do is to catch the lamb, (which was probably about twenty kilos), and then bodily hoik it over the wall.
What you don’t do is to do what my neighbour did, which is to go into the house, get a kitchen chair; place chair against the wall and pat the chair indicating that the lamb jump onto the chair and then over the wall.
This never works. Sheep just aren’t mentally equipped to cope with this sort of thinking. Their grasp of spatial geometry just isn’t up to it. I’m glad our elderly border collie wasn’t there to watch this. Border collies can convey baffled condescension better than any other breed I’ve ever come across.
But she got the chair, placed it appropriately, attached the lamb’s attention to it, stood back and watched.
The lamb jumped onto the chair and then straight over the wall where it rejoined frantic mum.
Smarter than your average sheep obviously.

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2 thoughts on “Smarter than the average sheep. (And also quite bright for a Londoner as well)

  1. M T McGuire April 24, 2013 at 12:06 pm Reply

    That’s very funny. 😉

    • jwebster2 April 24, 2013 at 12:15 pm Reply

      It amused me when she told me about it this morning 🙂

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