White Van Man

clean me



So we were driving home. The A5087 Coast Road is a pleasant drive with the sea on one side, pleasant countryside on the other. You can average 50mph, and there are places where 60mph is not unreasonable. And not long out of Ulverston, heading south, a white van appeared in my rear view mirror.

Well in truth, he didn’t merely appear, he filled it. Had he been any closer he would have been sitting in the back seat of our car. I commented on this briefly to my daughter who was travelling with me and then gave my attention to the road.

Now this road has corners, a number of blind bends, and a reasonable amount of traffic coming the other way. Not only that but I was myself slowly catching up with two cars ahead of me who seemed to feel that 50mph was a sensible speed.

A number of times I could see the van behind me pull out, only to have to fall back when a car appeared in the opposite direction, but finally, after four or five miles, he overtook me.

Now I dropped back a little, on the grounds that if he was going to hit something, I wanted room to react. But I still had a ringside seat for his next actions. After all he still had two more cars to overtake.

Eventually, on a length with two shallow S bends, running into a third, blind bend, he made his move. He accelerated, pulled out, overtook the first, silver grey car, and was making a move on the second, red car when out of the blind bend appeared a lorry heading in our direction.

Our white van man immediately pulled in, cutting up the silver grey car and forcing it to brake, and then once round the blind corner; he accelerated again, overtook the red car and disappeared.

Fair enough I thought, ‘that’s the last we’ll see of him.’ So a mile further on I slowed down to turn right into a lane running inland. The silver grey car in front of me also indicated to turn right. Once in the lane the silver grey car slowed down and indicated that they wanted to turn into the drive of their house. This would let me past, down the lane and home.

Except, in their drive, there was parked the white van which had just cut them up not five minutes previously. The car in front couldn’t pull into the drive to let me past. So obviously the car driver wound down his window to ask questions. As far as I could hear the white van man had something to deliver to one of the three houses in the vicinity but he wasn’t entirely sure which one. But they rapidly confirmed that he didn’t want to deliver to the couple whose drive he was occupying.

At this point he was suggesting that his best course of action was to leave his van in the drive, walk to the next two houses and see if the package was for them. The fact the rest of us were sitting round in the lane waiting for him wasn’t seen as a problem.

So the lady of the house got out of the car. He said something to her, and in a clear voice she replied, “Or alternatively, you will move your van!”

He didn’t seem keen, and I heard the lady’s husband comment that perhaps, after all, if he reversed the car so it was across the front of the van, then that would let me through. With me out of the way then husband and wife could go into the house, have a nice cup of tea, contemplate supper, and see if there was anything on the telly. Obviously they’d move the car next morning when they went to see her mother.

It was at this point the white van man decided that he probably ought to be going about his business, moved his van, the householder parked his car, and I waved cheerfully to everybody and drove on.

An every day story of country folk, or just a pleasant tale with a nice uplifting moral ending?
Still if you fancy another tale, a mystery with an interesting ending that might even be uplifting; how about purchasing ‘Tomb-yard Follies.’ Just published today for a mere £0.98




As the blurb says…

“Mapping an old family graveyard was a technically complicated job Benor expected would take him some time. But then he hadn’t allowed for getting caught up in a world of intrigue, vengeance, and arbitrary justice…”


Go on, you know you want to. Treat yourself.


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6 thoughts on “White Van Man

  1. Mick Canning March 1, 2016 at 9:23 am Reply

    Everyone concerned seemed very restrained, under the circumstances.

    • jwebster2 March 1, 2016 at 10:59 am Reply

      From the look on the lady’s face she had passed beyond mere anger into that cold icy hinterland which might possibly explore into fury 🙂

  2. Bob Mullen March 1, 2016 at 7:12 pm Reply

    Aye worse than those darn taxi drivers they are!

    • jwebster2 March 1, 2016 at 10:39 pm Reply

      Whilst taxi drivers might be a bit prone to pull out in front of you, at least they get away and don’t faff about at 2omph!

  3. rootsandroutes2012 March 1, 2021 at 6:18 am Reply

    I can just see it! It reminds me of the road near which I grew up. My father travelled it regularly in a three ton Tranny loaded with materials for whichever roof he was about to thatch. At one point that road does a hard double bend to get over a railway. It was surprising how many drivers of fast cars expected him to reverse the laden truck over that bridge, despite the fact that they had a pull-in almost right beside them – perhaps less surprising that they seemed to change their minds as he conspicuously got out his flask, poured a cuppa and popped it on the dash 🙂

    • jwebster2 March 1, 2021 at 6:48 am Reply

      We had that many years ago at the top of our lane, a lad who was silaging for us was pulling out of the field and had just got a loaded trailer onto the road when somebody came hammering up the hill and blew their horn to get him to get out of the way.
      He responded by switching the engine off and lighting a cigarette 🙂

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