The advantage of the lowest common denominator is that it is a common denominator. Admittedly some denominators are more common than others but still, who am I to cast the first stone when discussing the peccadilloes of the unsophisticated? Similarly I am not going to direct aspersions at the Philistines. (A people whose grave goods prove it’s possible to be both a hard bunch of lads who would regularly knock seven bells out of their neighbours; whilst simultaneously being a sensitive and creative people with a deft touch with ceramics and colour.)
Still if common is what is demanded, then common is what we supply, the customer is always right.
Even when they’re not.
But setting aside this moment of doubt what am I waffling about and will I ever come to the point?
It’s as simple as this. You might have noticed I write a blog. If you haven’t noticed this then I suggest you stop reading briefly and take a good look at the screen, gaze in awe at all the gubbins that form a backdrop to my deathless prose.
But don’t stop for too long, some of us have work to do and I cannot spend all day explaining this.
Where was I? Oh yes, I write a blog. To cut a long story short I looked at this virtual heap of blog posts, shuffled through them and pulled out those which involved sheep, Border Collies, quad bikes and farming life generally. Then I put them into some sort of order and tidied it up. (You know the sort of thing, filed off any hanging electrons, gently tapped round the edges with a ball-pein hammer to make sure they all fit, and then just rub it all over with a bit of emery paper to ensure you don’t get splinters off it.)
Anyway, once it was ready I put it into a suitable electronic format and stuck it on Amazon where, for a mere £0.99 you can purchase it for (as we say in the title) your delectation and delight.
So what do you get for your money?
The horns of Elfland, faintly blowing
Four lesbians in a fast car
The third great lie
Ya bluidy auld witch
Sheep, a socket set and a dog that howls back at police cars
And so much more
Go on, treat yourself.