Now I’ve never worn cowboy boots, with or without high heels, so I approach the whole subject with a completely open mind.
Still it strikes me, that as a public service; I ought to warn people of the risks that one can run wearing these boots. I speak of course not from personal experience but instead I shall relate, in a sober and restrained manner, what happened to a lady of my acquaintance.
The daughter of a farmer, she had got a good job working for one of the organs of the state. Thus she had a salary, a civil service job contract and of course, an index linked pension coming down the line. This latter was a distant prospect when the fateful incident happened.
The particular organ of the state that the lady worked for had to deal with farmers. Thus and so it was decided they would have a stand at one of the countries leading agricultural shows. The lady of my acquaintance was an obvious person to work on the stand.
She was pleasantly cheered by the prospect, as was her father. The family were contemplating purchasing a new tractor, and daughter, being one of the people who would be using it most, was the ideal person to discuss matters with various salesmen and other company representatives. After all, daughter might have a job, but that didn’t bar her from working for a living when she wasn’t slouching about playing at being a civil servant. In the course of a year she probably worked more hours at home than she did at work.
So the great day came and she headed into the deep south to do her bit for her employer. But of course, all the staff on the stand were given some time off during the day to look round. She made an immediate beeline for the tractor lines.
Now then, it is a self evident truth that any tractor salesman is happy to spend a little time talking to an attractive young lady. When that attractive young lady not merely knows what she is talking about but appears to be serious about purchasing a tractor, then your tractor salesman has been lifted direct to some higher heaven.
It has to be admitted that the tractor salesman could not have been more helpful. Not at all patronising, with no hint of sexism, he went through the complete specifications of the tractor she was interested in. Then he suggested she actually climb up into the cab and see how the layout worked for her. This she did, and liked the layout. So she started to climb out of the tractor cab.
It is at this point that her problems started. You climb down backwards, facing the tractor. This is easy enough, but not, apparently, when you’re wearing ladies high-heeled cowboy boots. Not to put too fine a point on it, she was stuck, and the salesman had to lift her down to the ground.
Now let nobody point a finger at the salesman. He was the perfect gentleman who gave the impression that lifting attractive young ladies was just another part of the job that he performed numerous times during the course of his working day.
Indeed his manner was so polite and decorous that had a patrol of the famed Saudi morality police been passing, they would doubtless have found nothing to disturb their equilibrium.
In fact the whole incident passed off in an entirely respectable manner. It’s just unfortunate that one of the young lady’s work colleagues happened to pass at that particular moment and captured the incident for even on her phone.
Unwilling to be seen as less of a gentleman than the tractor salesman, I shall not reproduce the photograph.
Still to cheer you up there is always this
to quote a review “Excellent follow up to his first collection of bloggage – Sometimes I Sits and Thinks – this is another collection of gentle reflections on life on a small sheep farm in Cumbria. This could so easily be a rant about inconsiderate drivers on country lanes and an incessant moaning about the financial uncertainties of life on a farm. Instead, despite the rain, this is full of wise asides on modern living that will leave you feeling better about the world. Think Zen and the Art of Sheep Management (except he’s clearly CofE…) Highly recommended, and worth several times the asking price!”