Special relativity and a wet T shirt.



It’s wet, seriously wet; chucking it down in other words. I step out of the back door and there is no sign of Sal. She’s lying snug under the cattle trailer she calls home. As I walk across the yard she emerges with carefully simulated enthusiasm to join me looking sheep. At this point it’s merely raining; to be honest it’s not all that bad. As we walk round sheep I just get wet.

Anyway Sal and I get home and it’s time to hitch the quad up and take some feed to the fat lambs. At this point the rain realises that it’s got all this water to get rid of. So the taps are turned on even more as somebody frantically tries to see if they can dump all the water in lord alone knows how many cubic miles of Nimbostratus over me. As I drive down the lane to see the fat lambs I realise that the battered old yellow hi-vis jacket I’m wearing feels distinctly heavier than it did when I started out this morning. The black lining is now sodden.

Never mind, as my Grandmother used to say, ‘You’ll not melt.’ Sal and I feed the lambs. Sal displays her contempt for the weather by rolling enthusiastically in the sodden grass in the pouring rain. One ewe shakes herself like an old dog and a great cloud of water flies off her. Nobody cares, nobody can get any wetter.

Back home again, fill the cake bins and then the lorry comes with more feed. This is blown in and by now I’m not merely sodden but covered in wet dust, so the hi-vis now looks like it was made from some esoteric yellow and brown cameo pattern material.
Feed unloaded, time for a brew but first to dispose of the wet clothes. At this point I know my shirt is wet but thanks to the leggings my trousers don’t feel that bad. So I decide that I’ll just stick the hi-vis and my shirt in the washing machine before I have a shower to get rid of the dust that’s caking my hair. (The cap also goes in the washing machine; it’s covered in a brown sludge.) But having peeled the shirt off, because it’s so wet it sticks to me, I realise that actually the trousers are also wet. Just not wet enough to stick to me. Hence they felt relatively dry. So everything goes into the washing machine and I go into the shower.

Fortified with milky coffee laced with Tia Maria I glance at the clock and realise that it’s about half eleven, time to give dairy cows their midday feed.
Now it’s still raining but between ourselves, it’s lost interest and is just going through the motions. So I put on an old jacket I keep in reserve, go out, push the silage up and pour some feed over it. I come back in the house for my dinner and I’m barely damp. So barely damp that I decide that I might as well keep this shirt on.

After dinner I empty the tumble drier. The old hi-vis jacket has washed up a treat and looks remarkably clean. But you know the fluff that accumulates in a tumble drier. It contains some quite large pieces of hi-vis yellow plastic. But still the jacket doesn’t seem to have acquired any more holes so not a problem.

Anyway I’ve just remembered there’s a group of dry cows outside who’ll be expecting to see me soon with their lunch, so I’d better get on with it.

If you’re happily keeping out of the rain, what you really need is a good book. How about

Still only £1.62 from Amazon in paperback

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11 thoughts on “Special relativity and a wet T shirt.

  1. rugby843 October 13, 2018 at 1:46 pm Reply

    Hope you have a drier day tomorrow ; )

    • jwebster2 October 13, 2018 at 2:08 pm Reply

      It would be nice 🙂
      As it was when I went out to feed the dry cows,it stopped raining!
      Instead of rain, a wall of water merely moved across the landscape soaking everything, including Sal and me 🙂

  2. Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt October 13, 2018 at 5:23 pm Reply

    One forgets that farmers have to face weather every day, whether they feel like it or not. At least, with electricity, there’s a hope of dry clothes later.

    • jwebster2 October 13, 2018 at 5:47 pm Reply

      yes, our longest power cut was six and a half days 🙂

  3. jenanita01 October 13, 2018 at 6:00 pm Reply

    Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.

  4. jenanita01 October 13, 2018 at 6:02 pm Reply

    Maybe because I sense a familiar fondness for getting soaked, I read your post with envy. If thîs is not the case, I apologise…

    • jwebster2 October 13, 2018 at 6:26 pm Reply

      I don’t mind too much getting wet when I can get dry 🙂
      Having to work all day when wet isn’t fun. I’ve had my working jeans rip because they were so sodden they clung to me and when I bent my knee, the jeans just tore across my knee.
      But when it’s not too cold and I do have a chance of getting dry I’m fine 🙂

      • jenanita01 October 14, 2018 at 10:22 am

        All worth it, just for the joy of being vertically drowned!

      • jwebster2 October 14, 2018 at 12:08 pm

        well when the wall of water moved across the yard I damned near was 🙂
        It wasn’t actually a flood but it was certainly heavier than rain

  5. Cynthia Reyes October 17, 2018 at 1:03 pm Reply

    No rest for the wicked, and the saintly don’t need none. You describe the whole thing so vividly, though!

    • jwebster2 October 17, 2018 at 9:27 pm Reply

      Aye well, I didn’t melt 🙂

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